we have seven children. we are both catholic, and though i have a controlling, emotionally abusive husband, i do love him, and he’s not a total ass all the time. but, he is stubborn as all get-out about vacation. we take a week every year, and do the same freaking thing. major league baseball game, amusement park, and some kind of other attraction, including usually something outdoors, like the zoo or something.
this year, travel included two vacations. one for a few days for a tournament, the other to a larger city about 6 hours away. here is how vacations around here usually work. i pack everything, i prepare snacks, entertainment for the kids, clean the house and make sure we all have what we need. also, i clean out the vehicle, water the plants, make sure the laundry is done, etc.
what does he do? packs his own stuff, gets the cooler, packs the van, and pays for things. then, complains about how long it’s taking for “us” to get out of the house. ???
whenever we stop, he gets an energy drink or something, but if i ask, he acts like i shouldn’t need anything. i’m an adult. i should be able to wait.
at the hotel, somehow i am responsible for finding anything that has been misplaced, like the phone charger, or the toothbrushes. he will watch tv until long after the kids have been in bed, then get irritated when they keep talking to him. um, the tv is on…they can’t sleep!
he always seems to have a beer in his hand.
when we go to an attraction, he has a hard time understanding that children need to eat and drink periodically. sometimes, only minutes after the last time. they get bored, hot, tired and irritable. yet they are cajoled, bribed, etc., into going on to the next thing, because he wants to get his money’s worth. and how could they not want to do this wonderful thing that we traveled all the way here to do? he gets very offended when they just want to go back to the hotel and swim. then he gets pissy and pouty.
when we get home, he always wants sex, since we spent a week in a hotel and were surrounded by children. and if i say i don’t want to, pissy and pouty.
once, we stopped at his parents house on the way home to spend the night before the last leg home, and he wanted me to sleep with him in a double bed with our toddler, while the other kids all slept on the floor in the living room. after a week of being smashed into a small bed with a toddler, i wanted to spread out on the floor and luxuriate in the extra space. he got pissed and hardlly talked to me all the next day. pissy. pouty.
Emotionally abusive people tend to manipulate through sulking and pouting, behavior meant to make you feel guilty or responsible for the abuser’s mood.