top 10 things i wish i had known were abusive before marriage…

10.  manipulation  “if you really loved me…”

9.  belittling “you would never be able to get a job as a waitress.  you are not attractive enough to make good tips”

8.  financial control  “if you want to visit your mom, you will have to just save up your own gas money”

7.  isolation  “but your family never comes here to visit, so why should we have to visit them?”

6.  dismissing my feelings “you need to lighten up, I was only kidding about your weight”

5.  lying “i was crashing at a friend’s house so you wouldn’t worry”

4.  cheating  “ok, i did cheat, but it was only three times with the same person on three different nights”

3.  making jokes about death “wouldn’t it suck if I fed you antifreeze in your soda?  then i’d be on those shows you watch all the time”

2.  excessive criticism  “what did you do at home all day with just the kids?  this place is a wreck”

1.  the silent treatment  ”   ………………………  “

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