this is a perfect description of the checklist trap. i have fallen into this trap in the past, and am currently on the edge. abusers are wily.
If you’ve EVER given your husband a list of things to do to “change” then this article is for YOU!!!!
No list holds the power to change a person’s heart.
It finally arrives – the heartbreaking yet liberating moment when you simply cannot live the lie for one more minute. The loneliness, shame and exhaustion can no longer be rationalized or minimized. There is nothing left to sort out or piece together or hope for, and you finally break through the wall of dysfunction you had foolishly accepted as normal. And you leave.
As the first days pass, you find yourself moving tenuously through the haze of disillusionment and exhaustion and catching a glimpse of clear sky, relishing every breath of free air and then falling into bed at night in peace. If you are lucky, in the abuser’s absence, the numbness of soul to which you have become accustomed…
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