more index cards

i mentioned in my last post, that i was using index cards to show each instance of abusive antics.  here are the next batch.

isolation (from others):

told me he didn’t like when i posted stuff on Facebook without showing him first.

tells me all the time that my friends on Facebook aren’t really friends, and that if i don’t know them face to face, i should unfriend them.

tells me i have “too many” online friends

whenever we go out somewhere with other people, he talks to others and pretty much just ignores me.

i quit going to my knit night with friends because he didn’t like that they were not Catholic and that i should only be friends with people who share my beliefs.

told me when i was unemployed and a stay home mom that if i wanted to go visit my out of state mom, i should save my own money.

whenever i mention going to visit my mom, he laughs and says the kids will hate it because there is nothing to do there.

says “it’s not my fault your family is so far away”

i pretty much never go to events that i get invited to, because he always gets pissy when i go, and it’s not worth the fight.

tells me that it is too expensive to visit my family, and they should come see me, when we see his family at literally every holiday, and multiple other times throughout the year.

double standards:

tells me how stupid twitter is, and makes fun of me for using it by commenting on Facebook.

tells my older children that i drank a lot in college but that he was “never that bad”.  yet, he is the one that always wanted to go out to the bars.

rarely helps me get the kids ready to go somewhere, then gets angry at all of us when we are late.

he had a lock code on his phone, but was angry that i had a lock code on my laptop.he only took his code off when my neighbor made the comment that “married people shouldn’t have secrets”

told me early on that if i really loved him, i would get rid of all my former boyfriends’ mementos, so i did.  but he never got rid of any of his old flames’ stuff.

he makes last minute plans, yet if i want to go somewhere, i have to make the plans in advance, and he usually asks me to take one of the kids with me.

tells me all the time that he never watches tv, and he does all the time.

yells at the kids for being messy, but rarely cleans up after himself.

pushed us to hurry to go to son’s game, then when he was the one finally making us late, said “it’s ok, we have plenty of time”

 

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